Good language for good results
Most business books are boring. This also applies to text and web content. Sometimes it’s tempting to inject some lightheartedness into the text, but it’s a dangerous game.
In the past, I edited marketing materials produced by a hotel in London. One of the hotel’s attractions is the leisure center, which includes a well-equipped gym. The original text mentioned ‘massive satellite television to facilitate torture’. ‘I must now admit that I accept this stereotype. Special machines at the gym are as painful as they are boring. Still, it was an understated episode.
Fitness is a place that sells to everyday people who exercise seriously, not slackers like me. Why is there a negative view of the sport when it’s clearly funny? Of course, it is not possible to stop the fans who are strong and continue to do sports, and therefore they are lost. Its main effect is that it ensures that the person no longer wonders whether he should try sports in his spare time. This reminder that a long-forgotten muscle is about to ache is probably not the best-selling
.
We have updated the brochure to state that the gym has a ‘large satellite TV’ to keep you entertained. ‘The number of guests using the gym has increased. That’s enough!